Wagons Roll

The Column trudged its way along the dirt road, (if you could call it a road), leaving a substantial dust cloud behind it.
Wagons, civilians on foot and horseback, natives trackers and a few Iracow Indian auxiliary, and the only elements that added a military appearance to it, three Company's of soldiers from the 4th Regiment of Foot's 1st Battalion and a Troop of 4Pdr Guns from Bree's Battery. Except for the lack of any children, the column had all the apperance of a settler's train.
Ahead of the column road two Troops from the 1st "Royal" Dragoons, and following up marched the two "Flank" Company's of the 4th with the Regiments Colours. Scattered along the line of march were the Yarra Militia in Platoon "lots"; their "march discipline" not as strong as the 4th's or the Gunners.
In the Militia ranks marched Gary White. He'd been with the "colours" for only about a year. This was his first time away from his home town on Craigieburn.
"Sarge, can ya explain to me's again what we're do'in ere"?
"Aw for Gawd's sake lad, I's is already told ya twice now", Sergeant Grubbs exasperation was not well hidden.
SGT Grubbs had been with the Yarra Militia for just over 10 years, he was a veteran of Vinegar Hill, and he had the scares to prove it.
"I'll tell's ya all I know for the last time. We's are going up to Wodongatow help the Ginger Beers build a bloody stockade to bloody look across a bloody river at them bloody Sudlanders".
Pte White pleaded with the old NCO;
"But I don't know how to build a stockade!"
The Sergeant snapped:
"You Bloody Twit, we won't build it, the Bloody Engineers will"!

"Oh"!

At the head of the Column rode Colonel Ann.
"You know Corporal Blunt, this "road" makes a rather poor track".
"Indeed Sir" agreed the Corporal.
Colonel Ann wasn't to happy about the mission he was given.
"So here I am, covered in dust and sweat from head to toe, just so the King has a fort built on the border and Doctor Alba Tross can buid a large furnace, for what reason I know not"
The Corporal took his que:
"Tough job Sir, tough job indeed"
The Colonel continued:
"And WHY did I get this Job? All because of a slight indiscretion with an officer of the Maiden Guard! Anyone would think I shagged the entire Regiment!"
"Tough Job Sir, tough job".
Colonel Ann agreed; and the column truged on through the dust and the heat,...

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sir Rolf Is Back!

"Sire, Sir Rolf is back".
It was the Chamber butler again.
"Really. Do show him in".
Within moments Sir Rolf was before the King.
"What's that you have Sir Rolf"?
"Well Sire, I thought I'd touch up the official portrait of Reich Duke Wilhelm von Beerstein. Since the presentation of The Holy Order Of Mormoani I thought it only appropriate that the portrait receive a touch up".
The King took a closer look at the impressively framed likeness of the Reich Duke.
"Ahhhh, very clever! BRAVO! Smyth; send a copy to the Reich duke"!
The Chamber butler snapped his heels together.
"Consider it done you Majesty".
The King returned to a pile of documents and maps on his desk.
"Well done Rolf, now I must get back to work,...".

Introducing Queen Raechel Of New Wales

"Sire, the Official Royal Portrait Artist, Sir Rolf Harriss has arrived with the Queen's Portrait".
"Golly Good! Send him in there is a good fellow".
The Chamber butler departed and was back within minutes with Sir Rolf.
"Ah, Sir Rolf, good to see you again. Well, let's have a look at her".
The two assistants placed the large painting on a lounge and unveiled the work
"I say, fantastic likeness Rolf old boy".
"Mien Gott, rather "informal" don't you think your Majesty"?
General Von Zillmann obviously was taken aback by the casual pose of the Queen.
"Well Sire, you did say you wanted to have a "relaxed" look about her Majesty".
countered Sir Rolf.
"If I may say so my King, she does look a lot like Queen Maria Auguste of the Republic of Bestonia".
"Really"
"Ya Mien King, I've seen a portrait of her. A Saxon girl".
The King leaned back on his desk:
"They might be related. Raechel is of Saxon Nobility you know".
General Von Zillman took a seat:
"Ja mien King, I know".
King Phillip stepped forward and grasped Sir Rolfs hand:
"I Like It"!
King Phillip was pleased.
"After it's done the rounds have it hung at the Palace. In my study I think".
"Of course your Majesty".
And with that the portrait of Queen Raechel, (and a few copies) , were sent off for the viewing pleasure of her Subjects and foreign dignitaries.

"Off To See The Elephant; (with Drums)"?

Drum Major Bond Scott (late of Princess Amanda's Dragoons), leads the Changing of The Maiden Guard at Broadford Gardens. Mounted on his Drum Horse Ned, they trot pass the Regimental Colour of the Maiden Guard, and the reviewing Officer, King Phillip I and General Von Zillmann.
At the Conclusion of the March Pass, Drum Major Scott is permitted to address the Guard:
"I now depart for Tradgardland. I will now beat my Kettle Drums to another tune, but know my heart beats for God, King Phillip and New Wales! God Save The King"!
"HUZZAH"!!! bellows from the Guard.















King Phillip now gives some final words of instruction and advice to the Drum Major before sending him on his way.
"Do your King and country proud Drum Major! In your baggage you will find the Holy Order Of Mormoani for Duke Karl Frederick. Hand it to our Ambassador, the Earl of Bradbury, Sir Olaf Myfriendsagay. Tell him from me he is to present it to the Duke".
With that, the Drum Major departs, like some young lad of to the circus; "to see the elephant".

The Royal Foot Guards: Senior Battalions

Let's now look at the two most senior Battalions of the Royal Foot Guards. There are two Battalions in the Royal Foot Guards, (each of 600 men); and a Regimental HQ of another 120.
NAME: Royal Foot Guard (Grenadiers and Carabiners Battalions)
Date Raised: 16 September 1729
MOTTO: Grenadiers: "Facta Non Verba" (Deeds not words)
MOTTO: Carabiners: "Hosti Acie Nomonati" (Named by Our Enemies)
Unofficial Motto: "Soldier On"! (Both Battalions)
Nicknames:"Die Hards" (Both Battalions)
"Snowflakes" (Grenadiers).
"Jolly Green Giants" (Carabiniers)
Battle Honours: "Fort Clairmont", "Van Demon's Land Campaign" and "Vinegar Hill1738" .
Brief History: By Royal decree King Micheal I ordered the raising of a Regiment of Foot Guards. He chose the birthday of his eldest son (Prince Peter) to be the date the Regiment was to be raised. He also decreed that the Regiment would consist of initially two Battalion, one of Grenadiers, and the other a "Light" Battalion. The 1st battalion became the Royal Foot Grenadiers, and the 2nd battalion was the Royal Light Infantry. Both battalions were to wear the distinctive "Koala Bearskin Bonnets" and new "Bicorn Hats", ( the Koala Bearskins with silver front plates bearing a "Grenade" badge). Oddly, both Battalions have "Grenadier" and "Rifle" (Light Infantry) Company's. The Grenadier's wear the Koala Bearskins and the "Lights" wear Bicorn hats. The "Lights" in each battalion also replace the "Grenade" badges on their coat-tails with "Hunting Horn" badges. The "Lights" are called Rifle Company's in both Battalions.
So, in summary in the the GRENADIER battalion you have 300 Grenadiers and 300 Rifles. In the CARABINER battalion you have 300 Carabiners and 300 Rifles. Each battalion has six company's, with 100 men in each company, (obviously).
The Battalions are made up with veterans from other Regiments, and are paid 50% more than any other soldier. They have a rank system "one higher" than the rest of the Royal Army: for example, a Corporal in the Royal Foot Guard is equivalent to a Sergeant in any other Regiment.
To qualify for selection in the Royal Foot Guards a candidate must have served in at least two campaigns with another regiment of the Royal Army, (note: NOT Militia); and must have a letter of recommendation from their original Regiments Commanding Officer. Even then, only 20% of applicants are excepted into the Guard. This is due to a stringent selection course all applicants must go through. Officers cannot purchase a commission into the Royal Foot Guard. Officers are "invited" to apply for entry into the Guard by either the Minister For War, or the King!
They must be six (6') feet tall for the Grenadier Battalion, or five foot eight inches (5.8') for the Light Battalion. The Light Battalion was renamed "The Royal Foot Guard Carabiners" in 1739.

Regimental anecdotes and traditions:
The Carabiners were named thus after an incident during the Battle of Fort Clairmont. When the "Light" Battalion attacked the French line by charging from the woods on the enemy's left flank a cry came up from the enemy ranks, "Look France, The Mormoan's attack with Carabiners"! This also explains the Carabiners Motto, "Named by Our Enemies".
At the completion of the Battle of Vinegar Hill in 1738 the Battalions had taken frightful losses from enemy artillery fire as they held the right flank. The Battery Sergeant Major of the Guard Artillery who was posted just in front of the Foot Guards yelled to the Guardsmen behind him to "Die Hard the Guard"! After the battle King Micheal inspected both Battalions on the battlefield. Looking at their depleted ranks he calmly turned to the Guardsmen and said "Soldier On my Guard; Soldier on,...".
Of the 1200 Guardsmen from both battalions, over 350 lay dead or wounded.

The Plot Thickens!

PICTURED: Lady Sarah O'Connars
Location: The Duchess' Retreat "Orange House", Van Demons Land
Date: February 20, 1746, 8pm.
Duchess Margaretta is pacing back and forward in the "Dutch Room" of her private cottage, "The Orange House". The "not so small" residence was a wedding present given to her by Grand Duke Peter. Somewhere for her to relax away from their official residence. It even had a small Catholic Chapel at rear for the Duchess to maintain her "Catholic rituals".
Standing rather nervously within the 'Dutch Room" was one of her new Ladies In Waiting, Sarah O'Connars.

The Duchess spoke:
"So prior to your arrival yesterday, you were once an officer in the Maiden Guard I understand"?

"Yes Highness, for 8 years".

"And now you're not. I've heard stories, but I'd like to hear from you; why is it so"?

Sarah blushed deep red:
"Well, I umm; err, how can I put this. Let's just say I was caught in a compromising position with Colonel Ann of the Militia. As you might be aware Ma'am, only virgins can serve in the Maiden Guard"

The Duchess smiled.
"Oh dear, a young officer of the King's Maiden Guard, deflowered by a Militia Colonel. I bet that didn't go down to well with the King".

"Not at all your Highness. I think the Young King is not really all that taken with the Guard ; and even less with any Maidens or Officers that he thinks might behave in anyway that could be looked upon as unprofessional"

"Young King"?

"Yes Ma'am. King Phillip is called "The Young King" by the Guard. We, I mean the Maiden Guard refer to his father as "The Old" King".

The Duchess turned her smile into a frown:
"Oh deary me. And I suppose the "Young" King is not all that near and dear to your heart anymore. A promising military career destroyed all because you, a young and impressionable junior officer was taken advantage of by some smelly, dirty old Militia officer"

"That is why I chose to come to Your court Ma'am".

"I assume you're good with a pistol?" asked the Duchess.

"Yes Ma'am. May I ask why you wish to know"?

"Oh, just interested in what training you've had". The Duchess drapped herself over a large couch:
"The Maiden Guard fascinates me. No fatties allowed in the Guard I understand"?

"No Ma'am, the heavy girls are placed in the Training Squadron. There was talk of raising a squadron of female Dragoons to become part of the Guard eventually, but I'm not sure the Young King is altogether keen on the idea. I know the Old King was".

The Duchess sat up:

"You know, I've discussed your situation with my husband the Grand Duke. He tells my he thinks you're the victim. He told me if he was king, as his Queen he'd hand the responsibility of the management of the Maiden Guard over to me"

"Wise move Ma'am" Sarah looked seriously at the Duchess.

Margaretta continued:
"Oh yes, The Grand Duke is very wise. He thinks it's only appropriate that the Queen should deal with all matter pertaining to the Guard. He'd make sure Colonel Ann was cashiered and I would make sure you were reinstated in the Guard as a Major, maybe even Lt Colonel; maybe even command of an expanded Maiden Legion"!

She reclined once more, and let out a deep sigh:
"Alas, Peter is not King however, and more importantly; I am not Queen. If only some accident would befall Phillip. Oh dear, I sound awful don't I? Oh Lord forgive me"!

Sarah chimed in:
"Not at all Ma'am, you only want what's best for your husband, and country; of course"

"Why of course" agreed the Duchess.

"You know, maybe there is a way that we could all benefit from having someone of your redoubtably talents here"

Sarah took it upon herself to take a seat:
"I'm at your service my Queen; oh, I mean Duchess".

Margaretta smiled:
"Queen does sounds better, does it not"?.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Two Wise Men, (and a Lady)!

PICTURED at left: The Holy Order of Mormoani.

King Phillip I sat on his Throne as Lord Melbourne spoke.
“Sire, the Ambassadors are awaiting your final instructions”
“Ah yes; best get them in here Melbourne”.
“Right away Sire. Send in the Ambassador’s to Tragardland, Neues Sudland and the Reich Duchy of Beerstein”!
The large wooden doors swung open and the three nobles started in. Sir Olaf Myfriendsagay, the Earl of Bradbury, Lady Amanda Hugankiss and Viscount Kingswood entered the King’s Thrown Room. They took their positions before the King.
“I’m sure it goes without saying that I expect you all to do your utmost to present our Kingdom in the best possible light. You will have accompanying you trade delegates from our wool industry and Wheat farmers”.
The three nobles received their letters of introduction from Lord Melbourne. “Sir Olaf, I’m sending you to Tragardland for obvious reasons. I know your family hail from that part of the world, so I’m hopeful you’ll have some connections there that will be of some use to us”.
“Sire, My cousin Belkie is very excited about meeting me”
The King’s attention turned to Lady Hugankiss
“I’m hopeful that the People of Neuse Sudland will already be familiar with you my Lady, due to your family’s Brewery. HUGANKISS DRAUGHT is consumed in large quantities in the Republic I’m told”
“Sire”, the lady blushed
“My accountant assures me it is”.
“Finally, Viscount Kingswood; when you meet with Reich Duke Wilhelm, please pass on this”.
The King handed Kingswood a wooden box lined with a rich red silk, with gold hinges.
“Inside you will find the Holy Order of Mormoani. I have decreed that Reich Duke Wilhelm is now a Companion of the Order”.
“Sire, a great honour indeed. I’m sure that Reich Duke Wilhelm will be ecstatic”!
The King reclined back in his throne.
“Good luck and safe travels. I expect to hear that you have been well received”.
The three nobles bowed and departed.

TO BE CONTINUED!